| Harold L. (Hal) Mansfield, Ph.D. | |
| 7366 North County Road 27, Loveland, CO 80538 | |
| Phone: 970.667.3878 | E-mail: hal.mansfield3@gmail.com |
By Hal Mansfield
Announcer: This is the Lannie Kling Tonite Show on the Constant News Broadcast System. Tonight, Lannie's program is all about the search for UFOs. Now, here's Lannie!
Lannie: Our program tonight is on UFOs. It is one a series of programs we have offered the viewers over the past couple of years on that exciting and controversial topic. Our guest on "Lannie Kling Tonite" is Dr. Craig, the author: "UFOs: An Insider's View of the Official Quest for Evidence." In the late 1960s, the University of Colorado was hired to conduct the government's official study of UFOs. The study group that was headed by Dr. Edward Condon, a world famous physicist at the University of Colorado at the time of the study. Dr. Condon is deceased. However, the chief field investigator - the man who actually went out into the field to gather information about significant UFO sightings - was our guest, Dr. Craig.
Lannie: Welcome to the program, Dr. Craig.
Craig: Thanks, Mr. Kling, it is a pleasure and an honor to be here.
Lannie: You can call me Lannie.
Roy Craig: Yes and please call me Roy.
Lannie: Well, now that we got that out of the way, Roy, let's get to the heart of the matter. Since the first modern report of UFO sightings in 1947, thousands upon thousands of people have reported seeing UFOs. Yet, in the Condon Study report, you and the others in the majority who wrote that report say there is no such thing. What goes here?
Roy: The finding did not say there is no such thing. What we concluded from our investigations, from many hours of field investigations - many of which I did personally, was that there was no scientifically acceptable evidence for the existence of alien vehicles or earth-origin vehicles of unknown designs.
Lannie: Isn't that what I said?
Roy: Not quite. There is no doubt that there are thousands of unexplained sightings. That is what an UFO is: An unidentified flying object. Practically everyone who can see has seen things in the sky she or he could not identify; hence, UFOs.
Lannie: If memory serves me correctly, there was something like 30 per cent of the sightings in the Condon Study that remained unidentified. What about those?
Roy: I don't remember the percentage. Certainly there were reports that remained unsolved. In most cases, that was because the witnesses proved unreliable, or the sighting was an old case, or the evidence was lacking some other way.
Lannie: How can you say that these thousands upon thousands of people who say they have seen UFOs are wrong?
Roy: We never said they were wrong. In most cases, the people probably really did see something. But remember one thing, Lannie, there has never been one piece of solid, physical evidence brought forward.
Lannie: What about all of the photos of UFOs?
Roy: Every one we investigated proved to be a hoax. In one case, it was an automobile hubcap. In other instances some other ruse was used. We spent a lot of time and money analyzing fakes. In the end, the experts were always able to discover how the fakes were made.
Lannie: What about the material that came from that Brazil case?
Roy: Common earth substances. Commercially available. Nothing alien about it.
Lannie: Another hoax?
Roy: Yes, that is exactly what it was.
Lannie: Let's come back the sightings. Are you saying that thousands of people see something in the sky, can't identify it and, therefore, call it a UFO when it is something ordinary?
Roy: That's right. The most common sightings are of known things. Conventional aircraft. Swamp gas phenomena. The planet Venus. The moon. Stars or star clusters. Reflections. Electrical disturbances. Common things, mostly, or rare events that the person simply does not have the experience necessary to make a correct interpretation. Mass "hysteria" plays some role. Sightings tend to be in clusters.
Lannie: How can you be so sure that there are not UFOs that are alien spacecrafts?
Roy: Science requires reliable, repeatable evidence. It also demands that - in a given situation - simple explanations must take precedence over the outlandish, the bizarre and the complex. There can be no angels, hobgoblins or miracles in science. Likewise, no alien spaceships - inner-planetary or otherwise - without adequate evidence.
Lannie: Isn't most science theoretical? I thought theories are what move science along.
Roy: Theories, yes. Idle speculations, no. A theory without evidence - of some scientifically acceptable sort - is just an idea. Theories must be fruitful in explaining what we already know in better ways, or they must lead to new discoveries.
Lannie: So, all of the UFO believers are wrong and you and the other unbelievers are right, is that what you are saying?
Roy: For the time being. When new evidence comes in, the scientist is always ready to change her or his views. Science is a process; it is never a finished product. It is speculative, to be sure, but rational in what is does and does not accept.
Lannie: What you are saying is that we need some aliens, alien spaceships, or verifiable evidence that even the most skeptical scientist will accept; then, science will say: Yes, the UFOs are real.
Roy: That's about it. I believe there may well be life on other planets. Some of the UFOs may be advanced aircraft from this planet. Perhaps they are military secrets. Some may be alien to this planet. I would never say "never." No scientist worthy of the name would.
Lannie: Thank you. Audience you can send us your comments to the addresses on your screen by snail-mail, by Fax, or by e-mail. My guest tonight has been Dr. Roy Craig, the chief field investigator for the official government investigation into UFOs. His recently released book is: "UFOs: An Insider's View of the Official Quest for Evidence." Thank you, Dr. Craig.
Roy: Thank you for inviting me to your program.
Roy was used to having the dogs bark in the middle of the night. The road by the house was almost never used at night. When it was, the dogs would bark. Also, there was the occasional skunk skulking around the outbuildings; even a coyote or bobcat, now and then. Dogs are supposed to bark at night; that is one reason to have them around.
Roy didn't wake up. If he had and if he looked out the bedroom window to the north of the house, he would have seen a large, saucer-shaped vehicle setting in the middle of the field beside the road into the house. He would have seen several figures walking from the vehicle towards his house. At that point, he may have had cause for serious concern.
The strange looking figures, hiked toward Roy's house. Except for a series of bizarre and rather high-pitched sounds, the figures - each about the size of an ordinary human being - each no sound. Intelligible speech was not to be heard.
As the figures approached the house, Nicki, the outside dog stopped barking and fled into its doghouse. Inside the main house, Misty, the old golden retriever, continued to bark in a low, uncertain, intermittent way. Roy slept oblivious to the fact that one of the most important events in his life of nearly seventy years was about to happen.
The figures walked quietly into the house, which, in accordance with the customs of the area was almost always left unlocked. They crept into Roy's bedroom, quickly muzzled the old retriever and put her outside. Then, they turned their attention to Roy, who was finally beginning to wake up.
One of the strangers produced a small needle, cleaned Roy's arm with an antiseptic swab, stuck the needle in Roy's arm, gently pushed the plunger, cleaned the tiny wound and applied a coagulant to the wound. The strangers then stepped back into the shadows of the hallway and waited several minutes to allow the drug to take full effect.
After a few minutes, one of the strange creatures approached the bed. Roy was wide awake but, because of the drug, almost completely immobile.
The stranger tested to make sure that Roy was both aware of his presence and unable to move. At a signal, one of the group produced an old-style stretcher, onto which Roy was quickly loaded. This was no small task. Roy was well over six feet tall and weighed over 200 pounds. The strange creatures seemed to be struggling but were up to the task.
In the living room, the stretcher Roy was on was put on a cart with large wheels and pneumatic tires. The stretcher with Roy on it was strapped securely to the cart, which was then wheeled out into the night and toward the waiting saucer-looking vehicle.
Roy had not been fully awake when the needle was punched into his arm. Almost at once a warm, relaxed feeling spread throughout his body. He was aware that something was wrong. He was aware that he should come fully awake and that he should get up to see what was going on. He was aware, but he lacked the will and the muscle coordination. As he came wider and wider awake, he also become more and more relaxed.
Then, he saw a strange figure come into the bedroom from the hall. He tried to speak, to ask who it was and what the stranger was doing in the house. Everything was taking on a dream-like quality. Roy could neither move nor speak effectively. He gave up both efforts.
After the first stranger bent over him Roy could see other figures coming into the room. In the dark it was hard to tell, but Roy was sure than none of them looked human and that each one was strikingly different from the others. Helpless as he was, Roy could only observe and wonder. The thought crossed his mind that he must be dreaming. However, Roy had never before had such a vivid dream where he thought he was dreaming, or was - as in this case - almost sure he was only dreaming.
It was obvious that one of the strangers was filming the entire events. The stranger continued the filming throughout the entire process. Roy wondered how the camera would work in the dark; then, he remembered that infrared cameras could do just that.
Roy's mind wondered. What were dreams called when they were both vivid and when the person was aware that she or he was dreaming. He reached into his vast memory. One of his friends, a psychologist, had mentioned the name of such dreams to him. He chased the name through his memories, but it always stayed just beyond the boundary of awareness. The fact that he could not put a name to the dream process disturbed him more that the fact that he was being trundled down the road, away from his house.
Then, Roy saw what looked like a flying saucer parked right in the middle of the small field by his road. It was dark, but there was enough light from the sliver of a moon so Roy could see the outline, but not the details. He was being taken toward the saucer-like object. Suddenly and inexplicably it came to him: He was being abducted by aliens!
Once the abduction thought formed in his mind, Roy was certain that he was dreaming. His mind drifted to the past: After all, thirty years before, he had been the chief field investigator for the official government study on UFOs, flying saucers. Just in the past year, he had finally found a publisher for the book that he had been writing and rewriting for twenty-five of those thirty years. He had found no creditable, scientific evidence for aliens, or UFOs, or flying saucers, whether from earth or from some other planet. His part in the UFO investigation was the work of a careful scientist. Initially, he hoped to find positive evidence. But, as the study proceeded, he became - reluctantly - convinced that the evidence just was not there.
Since UFOs and their alien pilots had not left any physical evidence, to Roy's scientific mind that meant that no aliens had visited earth. Roy was willing to believe that there might be other planets with life, not likely human life-forms, but life. The unlikely part was that such distant life-forms could travel across the vastness of space or that the aliens could have found any planet as insignificant as Earth.
Roy decided to fully appreciate the dream. To go with the flow. To let whatever would happen, happen. All would be well when he finally woke up. Or, so he thought. He now focused on his dream captors. He could see only the barest outlines. They certainly were alien-looking, even though they were human-sized. Occasionally, one of the dream aliens would emit a series of high-pitched noises. Roy could neither understand nor even begin to fathom what the sounds meant. He surmised they were some sort of communication between these dream aliens. He listened hard, but it did no good.
By now, the cart was quite close to what Roy was now convinced was a dream spaceship, a dream UFO. The cart was being pushed toward a ramp. There seemed to be dim lights in the interior; however, at the present distance and from his viewing angle, tied to the stretcher and to the cart as he was, he could not see anything with clarity, or make out any definite shapes that might be recognizable.
What if a car was to come down the road? It rarely happened at all and almost never, in his memory, at night, since his was the only place on the short, dead-end road. Well, this was a dream, wasn't it? A car, or something, or someone could just as easily appear as the aliens and the spaceship had. That was the beauty and the mystery of dreams and of dreaming.
Several aliens took hold of the cart and with some difficulty wheeled it up the ramp and into the dream spaceship. A bright light was turned on. It shone directly into Roy's eyes. He could barely see even after the initial shock of having the light directly into his eyes wore off some.
The aliens quickly un-strapped Roy and moved him from the stretcher and the cart on to what looked and felt like a stainless steel medical examination table. It would have been uncomfortably cold and hard, had Roy not been so relaxed and warm from the drug . . . oh, Roy corrected himself, from the dream.
Since Roy always slept in the nude, the aliens were able to begin their work on him almost at once. The "work" consisted of a series of measurements. First they seemed to measure his height. For that, they pulled and tugged to get him as straight as they could. His feet hung over the end of the table. One alien finally grabbed both of Roy's feet and held them out straight.
Once that measurement was over, one of the aliens examined Roy's eyes with a tiny, but very bright, light. The examination proceeded to include Roy's mouth, ears, and nose. The examinations seemed superficial and sloppy, to Roy's mind. "What the heck would you expect," he thought. "This is only a dream."
Roy began to feel slightly chilly. Perhaps the effects of the drug were wearing off. Maybe he was getting ready to wake up. He was ready to wake up, he decided. Enough was enough.
The aliens quickly moved Roy back onto the stretcher. Strapped him to it and to the cart and hurriedly wheeled the cart down the ramp and toward Roy's house. Apparently, Roy thought, the dream is coming to an end. Almost before he knew it, he was back in his bed and the aliens were gone.
However, before he could do anything about his strange dream, he went back to sleep. When he awoke, it was morning. He looked at his alarm. It had not gone off as it should have. Moreover, it was nearly two hours beyond his normal waking time. His faithful inside dog, Misty, was scratching at the front door, wanting in.
"How did she get outside?" he wondered.
Roy quickly got out of bed, turned on the bedroom light, even though it was a bright day and examined himself carefully in the dresser mirror. There was not a sign anywhere on his body that he had been anywhere but in his bed all night long, with one exception. A small mark on his arm could have been made by a needle. However, since he had been baling hay and stacking the bales with only a short sleeve shirt on a couple of days before, the small scab might be from that. He wasn't sure.
In fact, he wasn't sure of anything. He felt sort of "hung over," as if he had drunk too much the night before and gotten too little sleep. That certainly was not true. He had drunk only one small glass of wine with his dinner - for medicinal purposes, naturally - and he had gone to bed early after a long, hard day of irrigating.
Still puzzled and totally involved with his memory of what he took to be a dream, Roy quickly dressed. He went to the front door and let the Misty in. As she came in, he went out and looked up and down his road. There was no sign of the craft. Nicki, his outside dog came hesitantly out of its doghouse and slunk up to Roy.
"Unusual, Roy thought. "But not terribly so." Truth be known, the outside dog was pretty much a coward. The dog's usual response to intruders, day or night, was to bark until they got close to the house. Then, the dog would slink into its house and stay there until the intruders proved to be friendly, until Roy called the dog out, or until the intruder's left.
Both dogs were acting unusually reserved.
Roy walked down the road to where the spacecraft had been in his dream. As he walked, he carefully looked for evidence that the cart had been wheeled both from the house to the space craft and back while he was on it. With the combined weight of the cart, the stretcher, and himself, the cart should have left some easily discoverable tracks. Several places there were what looked like tracks. But, someone - or something - had made an effort to cover the tracks.
When he arrived at the spot where he thought the spacecraft was parked, immediately, he saw some large tracks. There were several of them. They looked like the sort of tracks a large, heavy vehicle might make. Then, he saw an area that was blackened as if by a fire.
He became more and more convinced that he had not been dreaming, even a lucid dream. That was the word that had escaped him the night before. He felt terribly hungry. He headed back to the house so he could fix himself some breakfast and so he could get at the work that needed doing. The day was passing all too quickly. The irrigating and other farm work could not wait. Not now, not ever, this time of year.
In addition to the marks and the burned place, two other puzzles nagged at the back of Roy's mind. One, how did Misty, his inside dog, get outside. She was certainly in the bedroom with him when Roy read himself to sleep.
Second, what was up with Nicki, the outside dog. Nicki had not even accompanied Roy on his walk from the house to the spacecraft landing spot. Very unusual. For that matter, Misty went in the house as soon as she could and had not come back out. Roy had left the door open and Misty could open the screen door from either the inside or the outside. Misty did not accompany him as often as Nicki did. She was older and slept a lot. Still, she was acting strange. "Why would both dogs pick this particular morning to act out of character?" Roy asked himself.
Facts. That was what Roy lived by. Scientific facts. Evidence. Hard, physical evidence. UFO sightings, without physical evidence, were just so much fancy. All of the photos Roy had examined during his field investigative days with the UFO study team had proved to be fakes. The so-called metal from a UFO that supposedly crashed into the sea off Brazil was an alloy that was well known on earth. Nothing there to suggest either an alien origin or a super-secret craft from earth.
Sure, there were cases that the team never solved. Many of them. Maybe as many as thirty percent. But that did not mean that they were the real, actual sightings of alien or exotic craft. It just meant that the trail was cold, that the witnesses were unreliable or that the sighting could not be pinned down to Venus, to a regular aircraft, to the moon, to swamp gas, to plasmas or to other normal, easily explained phenomena.
Roy retraced his steps to the house. He carefully looked around the house, especially in the bedroom. If there was not a trace of evidence that he had, in fact, been wheeled to a space craft - one that landed in the small field near his road - or that aliens had been in his house, or that they had let his dog out, or any other evidence led Roy could accept the most logical conclusion: It had all been a dream, albeit a long, complex, vivid dream. A lucid dream.
However, there was the evidence of the tracks that had not been completely erased. And, most importantly, there were the tracks and the burned place. Something had taken place and it was not necessarily a lucid dream.
With the irrigation water set, Roy hopped back on "Cowpony" and headed back to the house. As he approached the house, he saw a county sheriff's vehicle parked in the road near where the space vehicle was in his dream.
He road Cowpony up to the sheriff's vehicle and got off.
"Howdy. I'm Roy Craig. Can I help you?"
"Hello, Dr. Craig," the deputy replied as he stepped up and shook hands. "We received a weird report this morning. An anonymous tip that we might find something of interest at your place. Any idea what's going on?" With this the deputy pointed toward the marks and the burned spot.
"Beats me. I found these this morning when I got up. I have no idea what they are or how they got there."
"Anything unusual happen around here last night? Did you see or hear anything suspicious?"
"No, nothing unusual, unless you count a rather dramatic dream that I had."
The deputy raised his eyebrows. "Would you share the details of that dream with me?"
Not much to tell, really. I was asleep in the house last night when I dreamed that some rather strange looking creatures came into the house, sedated me somehow, wheeled me out here (Roy points to the spots where the strange marks and the burned area is.), took me a saucer-looking vehicle, performed some rather idiotic measurements and tests, took me back in the house, and - I guess - left. I woke up this morning feeling groggy. When I came out here, I saw this. (He gestures again.)
"Dreams don't usually leave landing gear type marks and burn areas from my experience." The deputy stroked his chin thoughtfully, walked over to his cruiser, took out a large pad, and walked back to one of the marks, as he said this.
"I think there is a simple, non-alien, explanation. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. Right now, I have to get to work."
"Just a few more questions. What time did you go to bed last night?"
"About 10."
"Did you wake up in the night?"
"Yeah. I took a pee about 12:30. Pretty much on schedule. Woke up two hours later than usual, about 8:30."
"So, your dream occurred sometime between 12:30 last night and 8:30 this morning."
"Guess so."
"Why did you come out here after you got up?"
"It was a vivid dream. And, I was aware that I was dreaming. I think that kind of dream is called a lucid dream. Anyhow, I wanted to see if there was anything to the dream."
"And, that's when you discovered these big tracks and the burned place."
"Yep."
"Any other signs or anything else unusual?"
"Two things. One, my inside dog was outside when I woke up this morning. She should have been in the house; there is no way she could get out by herself."
"Anything else?"
"Yes. Both dogs acted kind of spooky this morning. They were subdued. As soon as I opened the front door, the old dog went right in the house. She has not wanted to come back out. The outside dog is pretty much a coward under normal circumstances. He has spent all morning in his doghouse. He didn't even jump on the ATV when I went out to change the irrigation sets. "
"So, you still think that was only a dramatic dream you had?"
"Yes. Either that or some sort of prank. Maybe it is somebody's idea of joke. I'll just wait and see what develops. No harm done as far as I can see."
"I'm going to fill out a incidence report, anyhow. Then, if something else comes of it, we will have a record in the computer."
"Whatever you say. I have to get to work. Thanks for coming out. Anything else develops, I'll let you know." With that, Craig turned and strode toward his house.
The deputy looked around for another fifteen to twenty minutes. He took some more notes and measurements. He took pictures of the tracks and of the burned spot. Finally, he jumped in his cruiser and left.
The package that came in the mail to the Wolf TV Network was nondescript. It was a typical videocassette mailer. Since it was carefully and completely addressed to the producer of several of the UFO programs the network had shown, the mail clerk opened the package, put it and the letter which accompanied the cassette in an interoffice envelop, marked the envelop for delivery to the producer and put it in with that day's mail.
The producer was far too busy to pay any attention to the videocassette or to the letter. He passed both on to one of his assistant's with a 'get this back to me as soon as you can' growl. The assistant took it to a viewer, slipped it in and began to view it. She stopped the tape after a few minutes, backed it up to the beginning, ran to the producer's office and, after much difficulty, got him to look at the tape.
What the producer and the assistant saw was the full tape of Roy Craig's abduction. The entire process was there. The first part and the last part, all of which took place in the dark, were taken with an infrared camera. The rest of it, the part that took place in the space ship, was taken with a normal camera.
There was Dr. Craig in all of his nakedness. There were the aliens: Kidnapping Craig, putting him on the stretcher and the cart, taking him to the space ship, conducting the rather superficial examinations, taking him back to his bed and leaving him there. It was all rather good footage, considering the limitations of the infrared and the somewhat crowded conditions in the space ship.
The interior of the space ship was never shown in much detail, nor was the space ship's exterior. The exterior shots were all taken from some distance and, of course, only with the infrared camera. All of the footage taken inside the space ship focused primarily on Dr. Craig and the examination process. However, there was some clear footage of each of the aliens. They looked like nothing that had ever lived on earth. Moreover, each was distinctly different from the others, as if each was of a different species. All were roughly the same size, human size.
The producer loped back to his office, called his boss and ordered his secretary to put together, sooner than soon, a conference of all of the people at the station who had ever had anything to do with UFO projects. The producer was wary, but he wanted to know as soon as he could whether there was any chance that the tape showed a genuine alien abduction.
The letter accompanying the tape explained who the focus of the abduction was and gave a brief account of Dr. Craig's activities vis-a-vis UFOs. The letter explained that Dr. Craig was chosen to be abducted and studied because he had been the chief field investigator of the government's UFO project, because he was a known and very solid UFO skeptic and because he had written a book about his UFO field work (along with some philosophical musings about the universe and the probabilities of life on other planets). The book came out in the mid-1990s and was out of print.
The producer was very, very skeptical. He smelled a rat. His first thought was that Dr. Craig had arranged to have the tape made as a publicity stunt to draw attention to his book. His second thought was that some UFO advocates had arranged the whole abduction to both teach Dr. Craig a lesson in humility and to stir up interest in the UFO controversy, since UFO interest was at one of its periodic low ebbs.
The conference was in a viewing room. It was packed both by those who had been summoned to see it and by a number of other people who wanted to judge the tape for their own private agendas. The producer's boss sidled into the room just as the viewing was about to begin. He was the real power in determining whether the tape would be shown on network time, whether it would be ballyhooed and how much and who would be involved in setting the entire process.
With the viewing over, the producer asked for comments about the tape and about whether it was hoax or real. The consensus was that it didn't matter whether it was real or a hoax, it would be "hot stuff." It would command a substantial audience and it would be a great revenue producer in that there would be a "bidding war' from potential sponsors.
The producer set up for prime time viewing at an early date; but, a date that still allowed adequate time for garnering sponsors and for ballyhooing the content of the tape.
Several days later.
Now, here is Lannie Kling Tonite with tonight's special, last minute guest Dr. Roy Craig.
Lannie: Good evening viewers. A few weeks ago, Dr. Roy Craig was my guest on this program. Dr. Craig was the chief field investigator for the U. S. government's study of the UFO phenomenon. The study's findings were that there is no scientific evidence for the existence of either extraterrestrial vehicles or secret government flying craft. Three days ago, this program's producers received information that - to say the least - suggested that a second appearance on this program was warranted. Dr. Craig kindly consented. Welcome back, Dr. Craig.
Roy: I'm pretty much in the dark, Lannie. What's this all about? Your producer didn't give me much to go on.
Lannie: I think you will agree that our reason for calling you and inviting you back is more than justified. First, though, a little background and reprise. You were the chief field investigator for the government's UFO study in the late 1960s, correct?
Roy: Yes I was.
Lannie: And you recently had your book on those experiences "UFOs: The Search for Evidence" published, is that not so?
Roy: Right, again, Lannie.
Lannie: And you and your investigation team found no creditable, scientific evidence to suggest that UFOs are from outer space or that they are from earth but are some sort of advanced technology.
Roy: Essentially, that was the conclusion of the study. Yes.
Lannie: What we are going to do, tonight, is play a video for you and for our TV audience. After we run the tape, you and I will discuss the content of the tape and the implications that we can draw from what we have seen. Fair enough?
Roy: Well, I can hardly say "fair enough" until I see what's on the tape, can I?
Lannie: I'll grant you that. Let's watch the tape.
A full tape of the "dramatic dream" which Roy experienced unfolded on the screen. Roy watched with increasing bemusement. Only the "aliens'" examination of his genitals was omitted. As the tape finished, Roy was back in his bed and the "aliens" were leaving his house and trudging back toward the "flying saucer" which was vaguely visible in the distance.
Lannie: Okay, Roy. You wanted objective evidence for the existence of aliens and of UFOs, what do you have to say about this tape. It that you in the tape?
Roy: It may or may not be me. The tape is not terribly sophisticated. It looks like something some amateurs put together as a publicity stunt.
Lannie: Were you involved in any way in the planning or execution of this tape?
Roy: Hardly. This is first I have seen it. I have no idea who the actors in the tape are or how they engineered the rather elaborate prank. I obviously was a participant, but not of my knowledge or consent.
Lannie: Are you telling us that this was done without your knowledge and consent? How could that be?
Roy: Lannie, several nights ago, I had what I thought was a dramatic dream. Moreover, I was aware that I was dreaming. Such dreams are called lucid dreams. Everything that we saw - plus a small segment (no pun intended) that someone excluded - took place in my dream, or in what - at the time - I thought was my dream.
Lannie: Well, Roy, what we just saw was no dream. What can you tell us that will help us make some sense out of the tape?
Roy: This is speculation, of course, but I think some pranksters - either people known to me or others - set up some sort of a UFO saucer looking vehicle on a small pasture near my house, entered my house, injected something in my arm as I was waking up, loaded me on the gurney, took me out to the vehicle, did some rudimentary, nonsense measures, and then put me back in my bed with a sedative so I would sleep the rest of the night away.
Then, they packed up the vehicle, made some large marks on and near the road, burned a small patch of grass next to the road and left.
Lannie: Whoa! How could all of this happen and how could you be aware of it but not able to do anything?
Roy: Had to be a muscle relaxant. I'm a chemist, not a drug specialist. I suspect that it was a commonly available drug.
Lannie: You think several people rigged up a vehicle of some sort to look like a flying saucer and did all the rest of it as a hoax?
Roy: That's what I think.
Lannie: Several years ago, your book about your experiences was published. My information is that sales are not good. Is that right?
Roy: Sales are less than I had hoped for, that's for sure.
Lannie: Why hasn't your book sold well, in your opinion?
Roy: Two things: One, the university press that printed it does not do much in the way of marketing. You can't sell a book, any book, without a proven marketing program. Two, my book is on the "wrong side" of the subject of UFOs. People want confirmation for their belief in UFOs. My book is a personal statement of my experiences and the conclusions I reached. Those conclusions are not what people want to hear.
Lannie: What effect did your last appearance on this program have on sales?
Roy: Sales picked up some. You have a large, enthusiastic audience, some of whom wanted to read the best available evidence on the UFO issue.
Lannie: If this abduction was real and was really by aliens, what effect might that have on sales of your book?
Roy: Not much, I think. If it were real, I would have to write another book.
Lannie: Books about alien abductions have sold very well, haven't they?
Roy: Too well, in my estimation. Most of the so-called abduction stories are total fabrications. Some come from people who are mentally disturbed. There is no scientific evidence that any abductions have occurred, just as there is no scientific evidence that UFOs come from outer space.
Lannie: What are you going to do about this tape and about the fact that your home was invaded, you were apparently drugged, and your naked body has been shown to our audience.
Roy: Nothing, for now. I suspect the perpetrators - whoever they are - are having a good laugh at my expense and at yours. I can't see that any harm was done. I had minimal after effects from the drug or drugs. My dogs have recovered from a night of trauma. The damage to the road and to the grass was minimal.
Lannie: You are just going to go home and forget that this happened?
Roy: No, by no means. I am going to keep my door locked. I am going to get a real watchdog, in addition to the wimpy one that I have now. Other than that, nothing. What can I do? These people may be neighbors. More than likely, they are professional pranksters from "who knows where."
Lannie: Oh! Just a minute! My producer says that one of the persons responsible for your abduction is on the phone. Hello, this Lannie Kling. What is your name?
Caller: Let's leave my name out of this. You know I am the one who sent you the video by the code we included on it and which I just gave to your producer. A group of us heard Dr. Craig when he was on your program several weeks ago. We are what you might call professional pranksters. Believe me, we have pulled off some duzzies in our time. We thought that the eminent Dr. Craig needed a little lesson is humility. So, we rigged up some costumes and a saucer shaped spacecraft. That was the easy part. Transporting the disassembled craft to his ranch was a bit more of a challenge. Anyhow, challenges are what we are best at.
Lannie: Are you telling me that you do this sort of thing regularly?
Caller: Not usually things this elaborate or expensive to pull off, no, though we have done some nearly this complex.
Lannie: What's your motivation? I mean things like this must cost you time and, in this case at least, quite a bit of money.
Caller: Money's no factor. We have plenty of discretionary funds. Also, we are all retired so time is no factor. We figured this would bring your program and Dr. Craig's book a lot of publicity. Actually, the fact that the good Dr. was not taken in has not given either you or his book the boost it could have.
Lannie: Weren't you worried about possible negative drug reactions?
Caller: Nah! One of our group knows more about the drugs we used than the drug companies that manufactured them. We are a very savvy group of dudes. We had everything we needed, anyhow, just in case an emergency occurred. Time to hang up!
Lannie: He's gone. I guess we will never know who they were. But, at least we know that it was not a group of aliens.
Roy: I never thought it was. They may be professional pranksters but the overall job they did was strictly amateur theater in my book.
Lannie: Having seen the tape, I have to agree about the amateur part; however, you have to agree that it was a pretty bold and complex hoax.
Roy: No argument on that score. It was bold, complex, and - overall - not in the best of taste by my standards.
Lannie: Time's up. I guess we will have to leave it there. Tune in tomorrow night for another exciting, timely Lannie Kling Tonite Show.